What's For Dinner?
by battlingbard7
Summary: Xena finds a rabbit; Gabrielle keeps it as a pet. It runs away. I wonder what they are having for dinner that night? Can Xena put things right? A fic just for fun! :] Enjoy.


Disclaimer: The _Xena: Warrior Princess_ series and its characters are all copyrighted property of _MCA/Universal_ (unfortunately). So no copyright infringement intended. I'll put the characters back when I'm finished playing with them, promise!

A/N: Hey, guys! I know some of you have read this before. I had actually had this up 5 years ago and I deleted it because I was going off Xena: Warrior Princess fan fiction. I know that's no excuse for deleting it knowing that some of you liked it. So I may as well have this back up for you to enjoy. I'm currently working on re-writing my first Xena fanfic, so hopefully that'll be finished and posted back up here soon. Enjoy!

* * *

-.-.-.-

By the gods, I'm sure she's giving that damn fur ball more attention that me. I sulked from afar as I watched my blonde lover cradle a snow-white rabbit in her arms. My brow creased: trying to figure out _how_ my bard had talked me into keeping the little pest.

I sat with my back against a fallen tree on a hilltop, with my bard cuddled close to me between my legs. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I sighed contently. Wondering to myself if I had ever felt more relaxed than I do now. No noisy village, no amazons, no one to save, no warlords to thwart off; just my bard and me spending some quiet time alone; away from Amazonia.

_I lent forward a little. Her short hair tickling my face as I exhaled against her neck slightly asking; "Are you okay?"_

"_Mmm… perfect" She purred back._

_Turning her head slightly, her eyes meeting mine and smiled. She pressed her lips to mine briefly before turning in my grasp. Once comfortable with her legs wrapped around my waist, she pulled me into a long, demanding passionate kiss. Her tongue ran over my bottom lip, begging for entry. I accepted. Our tongues fought for control, naturally, she won the battle. I pulled her forward and gently laid her down against the grass, lips never parting from one another. But I would win the war._

_Before I got carried away with myself, I heard a faint rustling in the bushes. I parted our lips and turned my head to the side to listen carefully. I heard my bards grunt of disapproval as I moved off of her to unsheathe my sword._

"_Xena…" My blonde lover sighed. "It's probably just some animal"_

_My brow creased "Maybe so" I grunted, as I turned back to gaze down at my lover I heard it again._

_Steadying my sword in my right hand, I silently crept toward the direction I heard the noise. I passed between the vast undergrowth of the trees, sensing Gabrielle by my side, I tip toed further until I reached the cause of the noise._

"_Nothing to be alarmed about" I grinned as I turned back around. Passing my curious blonde bard as she arched an eyebrow at me._

"_What is it?" She asked as she neared the spot I just came from. "Aw! Xena. Isn't it cute!" Was the high-pitched screech I heard from my lover. It caused me to shudder._

"_Aw, poor thing." Her voice dropped an octave as she collected the little ball of fur in her arms and brought it over to me. "It's hurt."_

"_Really?" I thought aloud. I looked over the little rabbit once; some blood on its paws, perhaps broken. I wasn't sure. And, I didn't really care. "Well…" I started. "Just leave it in the bushes, I'm sure it'll fall prey to some un-expectant predator. Or you could cook it." I grinned. Rabbit, haven't had any of that for a while._

_The look on her face she gave me nearly broke my heart. She was obviously upset at my words. "We can't do that Xena. We can help her somehow. We can take her back to the village and heal her wounds." She sounded optimistic._

_Raising my eyebrow "Her?"_

"_Yes, her." She smiled up at me as she sat down with the animal in her lap. "I'll call her Snowy"_

_Oh gods, she named it. She named the damn rabbit. I threw my arms up in irritation and let out a long sigh. "Gabrielle… you aren't taking this rabbit back with us. Once you name it! You start getting attached to it! And then we'll end up keeping it!" I growled as I plopped myself down next to her._

"_Oh come on Xena. It's only a rabbit…" She started. "She seems quite tame," My blonde lover stated as she started to stroke the bundle of fluff without it trying to get away._

_My brow creased as I watched her pick up the bunny to cuddle it, she's right, it didn't move. It seemed to like Gabrielle. I sighed causing my love to look at me._

"_Don't tell me your getting jealous over a rabbit, Xena" The blonde giggled, nudging me with her shoulder._

I was. I was jealous over a damned rabbit! It was getting more attention than me and I didn't like it one bit! She brought it back to the Amazon village 4 days ago and all she's been doing is cuddling it. I want a cuddle once in a while! She's even made me build a damn hutch for the thing.

I could have thought up quite a few evil schemes involving that rabbit when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in" My blonde lover called out.

It was Eponin. She bowed to her queen as she entered her hut. She grinned to me as she noticed, that once again, that damn fur ball was in her arms. I shot her a look back; which just caused a wider grin on her face.

"Ready for dinner my queen?" The brown haired weapons master asked.

Gabrielle nodded once she slid off the bed and out the door, to no doubt, put 'Snowy' in it's hutch. I got up also and walked toward the door. Eponin bumped her shoulder with mine grinning.

"Still standing second best to the rabbit?" Eponin grinned. Obviously knowing I was still pissed since my bard brought the animal back.

"Shut up Pony. I'm second best to no one," I warned as I walked past her and waited for my lover.

-.-.-.-

Diner was lovely. It truly was. I can't remember the last time I was this stuffed. Stew, with all kinds of vegetables you can think of. Complements to the chefs, I'll have to drop by the kitchen sometime to say thanks for the lovely meal. I stretched as my Gabrielle, Pony and I exited the dinning hall. I patted my stomach, gas on the move; and let out a hearty burp.

"Animal" My lover piped up, grinning at me.

"Don't you know it" I answered slyly as I winked at her.

I turned my head to Pony who rolled her eyes. I shook my head. She pleased her queen a goodnight and retired for the evening. I looped my arm around my blondes' shoulders as she wrapped hers around my waist. We strolled back toward our sleeping quarters and entered.

My bard insisted she check on her rabbit before retiring herself. While she was out of view I heard her little voice "Oh gods. Xena!"

Panicking, I unsheathed my sword and rushed out the door. "What's wrong?"

She was crouched over the rabbit's hutch. "She's gone"

I sighed and sheathed my sword. Wait. The rabbit, Gone? Thank the gods! I mentally danced around in my head, thanking any god that was listening. That was, until I saw my lovers face. It looked like her favourite pet had just died. Though… it _had_ escaped. She turned around a sought out my embrace, a few tears falling down her face. I rubbed her back soothingly.

"Gabrielle, it's okay" I reassured. "It's only a rabbit" I made the mistake of whispering loud enough for her to hear.

She pulled back. "Only a rabbit? Is that how you see it?" I spat at me, climbing the steps to the hut. "How would you like it if something you loved so much ran away. Argo perhaps?" She threw back at me as she slammed the door to the chamber.

I sat down on the steps closing my eyes, counting in my head. Trying to control my temper. It's… a … damn… rabbit! Thinking over her words, she is right after all. It would break my heart if Argo ran away and disappeared, though I don't see that happening any time soon. I sighed as I noticed Ephiny strolling over.

"Hey, Xena." She greeted, obviously seeing the expression on my face. "Geez. What's got you down in the dumps?" She joked as she sat next to me.

I pointed over to the hutch. "Rabbit got out" Her vision followed my finger and examined the hutch, then back at me.

"Taking it out on you no doubt" The blonde reminded me; giving me a lopsided grin.

"Its… a… rabbit!" I whined, gesturing with my hands.

"She may see it as that. What if it were Argo that ran off?" She stated as she rose. "Goodnight Xena"

The next day, Gabrielle's mood hadn't lightened much despite having a restless night. She said few words, more or less. She decided to work with the elders for most part of the day, probably trying to get her mind off her loss. Loss…? Pfft! _Rabbit!_ Just a little rabbit! I could go into the forest and pick up 5 of them!

By the time dinnertime rolled around again, things got worse. As we sat around the table; Gabrielle at the head of the table, Ephiny was sat to her right, me to her left and Pony next to me. My lovers mood seemed to have raised a little once dinner had arrived. Until…

"This is lovely. What is it?" My blonde lover asked as she tucked into her meal.

"Steamed rabbit" I heard someone from across the room answer.

Oh dear. I dropped my fork on the plate, put my elbows on the table and put my head in my hands. Daring not to look at my bard. I glanced up at Ephiny, whom had her eyes closed; Waiting for the worse. I looked over to Gabrielle; she was staring down at her plate, not moving an inch.

"Gabrielle…" I tried to comfort her. "It's not your…" She got up before I could finish my sentence, and headed out the door. Ephiny soon followed.

"Gods, just kill me now" I whined, as I glanced over my left shoulder at Pony; whom was happily eating. Not phased by a thing.

So here I am. Sitting against that same damned tree, on the same damned hilltop I had found that same damned animal in the first place. What to say? I haven't got a damned clue what to say. Sorry your rabbit ran away and became dinner; you'll get over it? Somehow I think I'll be out on my rear if I ever said those words to Gabrielle. I hate seeing my lover in pain. What can I do to make it up to her? Get her a new rabbit? I don't think she'll take kindly to that. Get her some other kind of pet? No.

I sighed as I rested my head on my arms and closed my eyes. Somehow, something was different. I wasn't alone. Ares? No, can't sense him. Another god? No. I opened my eyes and looked down. To my surprise it was Snowy! Gabrielle's rabbit! I jumped for joy! I quickly grasped the animal, hugging it tightly. Now I know what my lover meant by it being tame. I grinned widely as I picked up the rabbit looking over it for any other injuries. She's fine! Gabrielle's going to love me forever! I got to my feet and strolled back to the village whistling happy tune.

I slowly opened the door to the hut; I could hear my bard crying from here. That'll soon stop. I saw Ephiny sitting with her on the bed rubbing her back soothingly. I whispered to her and motioned for her to come outside.

"What is it?" She asked before she saw the precious cargo in my arms and smiled. "Thank the gods" She patted me on the shoulder "Good job".

"Hold her for a sec, would you?" I gave the rabbit to Ephiny to hold for a minute.

I re-entered the hut seeing Gabrielle lying with her back toward the door. I sighed; I hate seeing her cry. I perched on the end of the bed and rubbed her back. "I got a surprise for you" I whispered.

"I don't want any surprises," My lover mumbled.

I got back up and headed to the door. Taking the rabbit in my arms, thanking Ephiny as she shut the door; before going about her normal duties. I cradled the rabbit in my arms, stroking her gently.

"Gabrielle…" I cooed. "Look"

It took her a few minutes before she rolled over. But once she saw what I was holding she was beside herself. She was up in a flash and darted into my arms. I held the rabbit up in one arm as my other wrapped around her waist. She kissed me soundly on the lips time and time again, whispering her thanks and love.

The next morning I sat on the steps to the hut enjoying the sunrise. It's good to be Warrior Princess. I have one happy bard again, and that's all that matters. To my surprise I saw Eponin approach.

"Your happy… what's happened?" She asked sceptically, sitting beside me. I just raised my eyebrows and grinned.

"Oooh. I know. Ephiny told me. Ye ole' rabbit has returned" Grinning she asked. "Back to standing second best?"

"Oh no. I'm back on top" I grinned as I pulled her into an exaggerated hug.

"Up for some sparring?" She asked, quirking an eyebrow at me.

"Most defiantly. Be prepared for some ass kicking" I gloated as I followed her toward the practice fields whistling a happy tune. She arched her eyebrow at me and laughed. Oh yes, it's good to be Warrior Princess.


End file.
